We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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