those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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