how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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