She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
