What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This house was built for laser tag.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
