Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Enjoy the penises
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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