you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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