I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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