Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
