I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
