This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
