Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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