I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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