currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
