Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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