it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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