You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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