Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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