I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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