my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
