dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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