A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
