My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
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mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
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And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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