i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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