Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
