So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
