it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
there's paper in my vomit.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
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Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize