do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
