is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
