Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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