when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
