have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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