i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
did you just send me my own nude
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
