do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wear drunk well.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
