Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
