Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
