Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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