PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize