Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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