Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Send help, water and tortillas.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
