We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
