I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
