similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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