the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
