my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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