break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
