So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
