I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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