My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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