You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
