Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
