Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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