fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
love makes seman taste better
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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