All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
