Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
