Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
