I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
