She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize