whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
