I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
