this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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