I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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